Just before I left work today a Sri Lankan I work with came up to me and asked if I’d seen on the television how these Russians and Americans can now bring people back from the dead. Turns out I’d thought about how to do this an whole lot. I’ve just got home and I don’t want to destroy my scientific method by looking for new data right away. That sounds strange doesn’t it? But actually in accordance with what I view to be the scientific method, its actually better not to have all the data in the first instance. Because you want to be setting up three or more hypotheses in parallel, and you want to be ranking and re-ranking them in accordance with incoming data.
So I’ve resisted the urge to google what my Sri Lankan co-worker was talking about. All he said was that the dead person was to be put in very cold water for a couple of days. He said they did something else, but he didn’t say what.
But because I’ve thought about how to bring people back from the dead already I’ll see if I can fill in THE REST OF THE STORY. You see I think you would need a pressurised cabin. I think you would need a respirator. I think you would need to be forcing the newly dead person to respirate. But not respirate air. I think you would need them to be respirating UNDER GREAT AIR PRESSURE, an high oxygen brew, wherein most of the oxygen was monotomic. And those monotomic Oxygen atoms were ANIONS. That is to say they were negatively charged.
What would happen in that case? Well if the cabin was pressurised enough, despite the cold temperature, the oxygen anions would get into the bloodstream. If the pressure was high enough you may not even need to force the dead persons heart to pump. But then again I think probably you would need to get some sort of pumping going …. but not necessarily. Anyway the cold water would stop the bacteria, viruses, cancer cells, and fungi from reproducing. Since almost all of these like a low-oxygen low pH environment, the oxygen anions would kill them all, and in the process convert into O2 …. then the high oxygen environment would hurt any of these pathogens that weren’t already dead. And the electronic transfer implied by the conversion of all these O- anions to O2 molecules would enliven the dead cells.
Am I wrong?
Now I think it would be better if we went through this treatment every month without dying first and without the cold water. But I don’t think the death cult that has taken over the world would let us.