Posted by: graemebird | August 16, 2006

Ectomorphic Varsity Karate-Sparring

tick tick tick tick.

What is that sound?

Some sort of mechanism for the keeping track of the “time”…… a concept open to disputation by the way..

Well I don’t hear it anymore. But yesterday even Lefty-Elitist got into the chest-thumping on the THREAD that is the GIFT that KEEPS GIVING over at Prodeo.

tick tick tick tick.

There he was Lefty. “Thumping” (careful Lefty! There’s not much casing round those vital organs) his chest and speculating about his superior potential as a soldier.

This is what he said:

Lefty E on 16 August 2006 at 12:02 am
Personally, I like to bring Birdy to the boil, then let him simmer.

When he starts reposting the same comment you know he’s al dente.

Like most noisy RWDBs, he’d make a crap soldier, or resitance fighter. Too easy to psychologically manipulate.
No-one tries harder to polish his online persona then Lefty Elitist.

And I know that he will not be offended by me saying that he comes across as a fellow who is blogging at the same time as straightening his bow tie and languidly making quite sure of the vintage of the wines he will soon be taking an immense amount of pleasure from ( more then any conservative could ever find) in the company of people of the most exquisite status… if not breeding.

The case of lefty and his double-fantasy brings up all sorts of implications as to the nature of the left. And this thread may well be fleshed out sooner or later to explore some of these.

Or it may stay on the backburner forever like the singularity thread has. I mean I could write either one in a four hour stretch but I put squabbling first and I have other duties and obligations.

But it does rather seem that Lefty in his minds-eye has gotten the full spectrum of soldiering rather confused with ECTOMORPHIC VARSITY KARATE-SPARRING.

This is where these guys dress up in White a bit like Cricket. But without the danger of a hard ball been thrown at them at seventy miles per hour. And they do a bit of stretching and some choreography.

And then if they are very good and suffciently servilel the sensei will get them sparring.

And its like sparring as FENCING. They stand way back and lob these kicks at eachother like distant missiles.

And if you have a sort of creative impulse and move inside their range with some boxer-like footwork well then the WORLDS NOT QUITE RIGHT.

Now I do not wish to belittle university Karate classes. And anyone who has seen it through and gotten as far as Brown Belt well thats pretty serious stuff.

But there comes a time when Lefty gets with one of his Karate friends whose like a Green belt or a blue belt. Or if Lefty has anything to say about it he’ll have the colour right DOWN in its classification…. Like Lefty will have it down to “Off-Torquoise” or something.

Well sooner or later one of Lefties less ectomorphic mates will let Lefty in on some MENS-TALK……

He will say…. You know. The toughest thing about Karate is keeping a cool head. You know you are sure that you can beat this other guy with superior reach, but if you get angry at him he’s scoring points off you pop pop pop one after the other.

Out comes Lefties mental notebook. Because this is MENS-TALK. And he realises that he might have to fake it one day.


Lefty E on 16 August 2006 at 12:02 am
Personally, I like to bring Birdy to the boil, then let him simmer.

When he starts reposting the same comment you know he’s al dente.

Like most noisy RWDBs, he’d make a crap soldier, or resitance fighter. Too easy to psychologically manipulate

Lefty never left school. So I suspect its Ectomorphic Varsity Karate-Sparring second-hand that Lefty is borrowing his concept of soldiering from.



  1. Damn

    you reckon he wears a bow tie and suspenders? I gave all that up and grew a pony tail and beard wanting to look like a intellectual eletist. I threw away my tux. Now I have to go get another one. What color… black or charcoal black…ie nearly black. I wanna be exact here like lefty.

  2. LOL. you’re getting better and better at this everyday Graeme. You could be like Tom Wolfe writing about radical chic.

  3. hehe. And you reckon lp has a thing for GMB, JC. Takes two to tango, hey?

  4. Michael
    Who or what is Ip. Sorry can you elaborate. Thanks

  5. G’B

    Jases is right, Tom W could never have done better. It was brillant writing. i could just imagine LE standing in front to the instructor taking notes on the best way to kick someones head off not even realizing what he was taking in.

  6. Aha. i see the problem. The lower case l looks very much like the upper case I. I’d make fun of your crappy eyesight, but i’m not really one to talk.

    Birdy’s place has , of late, become a kind of anti-shrine to Larvatus Prodeo.

  7. you know Graeme, MichaelG (is he anything like AliG?) does have a point. all this stuff is fun to read but you’re basically giving the larva prodders free publicity.

  8. Thats alright. I owe them. They’ve been giving me free publicity also.

    But what we want to do is publicise them and make them look like the ridiculous mentally-unbalanced fascist-lite freaks that they are.

  9. But aren’t most of Graeme’s readers coming over here from LP?

  10. Present company excepted of course.

  11. jason. I and AliG have more things in common than you might think. Sadly comic timing is not one of them.

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