Posted by: graemebird | September 4, 2006

We Will Dig Him Up And We Will Make Him One Of Us…

Over at Catallaxy its come up that the family Saud was of Jewish extraction. Well. You know. I’d like to know one way or another. But the only thing I really think about the Sauds is that “this war aint over until half the male members are in a place closer to Allah not a long way from chop chop square and the other half are in the short pants jobs” (Quoting myself)….

So I wasn’t about to argue about these guys. Whether they were Jewish or Arab. I’m only going to weigh in over whether we should have killed all of them yesterday or whether we could take the chance of only killing a quarter of them tommorrow as some sort of advanced warning…

But they brought up this other fellow and there was some sort of contestation over HIS lineage. Some folks think he was a Turk. Others suggest he was a Crypto-Jew. And while it remained a line-ball thing I thought I’d claim him for our own. Because though I’m sure he did some frightful things as most dictators have done but yet I must admit to being something of an admirer.

So anyway I weighed in on this matter of Mustafa Kemal aka Kemal Attaturk. And it was a bit of a whimsical nonsense piece. But after reading it a couple of hours later I figured it had a bit of a sparkle about it. So I thought I’d include it on my own blog for the permanent record.

Did you know that when Attaturk was a young fellow he had fair hair and blue eyes?
How bizzare is that?

Now I don’t know whether his hair or his eyes darkened later on. I’ve known blue-eyed blonde children to darken in both eyes and hair as they grow older.

But I have it on good authority that at least as a boy he was that way. Wonder what Hitler would have made of that one hey?

And he was my version of a good Muslim because he liked his drink. You see I think its better for one Muslim to get furiously angry after socking away a bushel of nips and then feel remorseful and sick, then it is to get a bunch of Muslims high on the Koran jumping up and down in public burning an American flag and not have a good THINK about things later on.

I’m just suggesting this Muslim habit of stopping the Plebians drinking while the leadership are secret debauchees is socially unhealthy.

But we were talking about the Great Man Attaturk. A tough guy. And one gentleman we probably would have tried to avoid clashing with had we been given a second chance in the matter.

(If only if only. Lord have mercy. Can we not run this over a second time? Yahweh. Yahweh. Yahweh. Be ye naryso TWISTED!!!. Hand the time machine………….TA-MEEE.

Give ME…….. the time………. machine………FELLA.

Then Give me the ear of the British First Lord Of the Admiralty.

I don’t THINK thats too much to ask.)

But as a child he was a fair-headed blue-eyed lad???????…..

Here is how one foreign worthy found the father or modern Turkey:

“… one visitor noticed him welcoming the arrival of a large brass tray on which neat whiskies were arranged and busily begginning to swallow them like a thirsty man who had come straight from the desert”

(Geoffrey Blainey: “A Short History Of The 20th Century”).

Now I ask you? Does Mustafa sound like a particularly JEWISH boy? And is that your typical Islamic behaviour?

So seeing as how there are disputations in the matter of Attaturks ancestry……. And since I have the authority in the adjudication of provisional ancestral claims…… Since I have such authority RIGHTnow, RIGHThere, I am hanging in the balance….


I am at two minds and hanging in the balance and wondering if I will make this man an HONARARY CELT.

I am thinking to myself….

“Will I make this man an honorary Celt”

That’s what I’m thinking….

And I don’t yet know which way I will lurch on this matter…….

I HAVE the authority

The paper is RIGHT!!!!HERE

The pen is INMY hand…………………………


Well what do you know?

I surprised myself on that one.

I cannot take it back now.

I’ll have to live with it.

And its not as if Mustafa himself is around to dispute my findings and final decision.

Well Mustafa.

I’m sorry we never met.

And I’m sorry that I can’t go back in time and inform you of your TRUE HERITAGE as an honarary Celt. Apparently higher forces have stopped me from doing this. No time machine will I get to use. Even though last night Terminator Three was on the TV.

But perhaps this is for the better.

Because had you known your true identity, perhaps you would have just hung around Derry, having a good time with the lads…… instead of setting your womenfolk free, and showing us the way forward…………..

….So that one day we’ll ALL be brothers again.



  1. Growing up in western Sydney, we had a red-haired Lebanese kid on ou cricket team, called Bassam.

    Don’t forget that a lot of light-coloured Franks, Normans and Germans visited the Middle East en masse about 700-900 years ago. And they loved the place when they got there, learning chess, eating sugar, and – as would you, I and any other red-blooded man – intermarrying with the exotic and enchanting local women they found there.

    If only there’d been more intermarrying, and more inter-fatih study groups reading through the Greek classics that the Arabs had preserved for posterity, I don’t think we’d be mourning the loss of thousands this weekend.

  2. Sounds like the “Bullworth” system of “assimilation” – I hear that most libertarians are proud advocates of this policy in Asia, and with Asian “delegates” in Australia!

  3. Sure. And after all Mustafa was born in what is now Greece. At the same time Constantinople was a Greek-Speaking city when Emporer Constantine took the headquarters of the Roman Empire there.

    There may be more of the ancient Greek genes imbedded in Turkey then there are left in Greece for all we know.

    Also as someone else pointed out the Celts aren’t really known for being blonde. In Roman times they had already mostly lost their blondeness if they ever had it. But they had become famous for being blonde on account of the habit of bleaching their hair using lime.

    They were sort of proto-peroxide blondes.

  4. “You see I think its better for one Muslim to get furiously angry after socking away a bushel of nips and then feel remorseful and sick, then it is to get a bunch of Muslims high on the Koran jumping up and down in public burning an American flag and not have a good THINK about things later on”

    My Malay Muslim uncle by marriage iin Malaysia was actually a bit of a drinker and barfly in his youth, but he gave it up to please his conservative mother. But other than that he’s not anymore devout than usual.

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