Posted by: graemebird | November 22, 2006

The Flat Earth Calculations

Imagine a flat earth. Almost twice as far from the sun as our own planet. Now imagine that this flat earth is always tilted JUST SO so that the time is always MIDDAY IN FLATLAND. Its always midday in flatland EVERYWHERE.

Now in flatland they are worrying a bit about universal-flatland-warming.

Because while this industrial CO2 makes the plants grow faster and the industry spreads the wealth and the love around…. They are worried about the planet overheating.

I should mention also that this planet has water vapour. But there are no oceans in flatland. The water vapour is magically produced and averaged out to be exactly the average of that of the third rock from the sun.

By some flat-land hidden-science there is a situation where water vapour is averaged out and in sympathy with the water vapour of the planet earth. But the planet earth itself scales up its temperature PROPORTIONATELY to be in sympathy with the average air surface temperature of sister-planet Earth.


What if I told you that our alarmist-science-workers are making their alarmist computer predictions on the basis NOT OF OUR BELOVED PLANET AS IT IS……. But instead, on the basis of this make-believe planet or some close facsimile to it.

This has been bugging me for a VERY long time.

So I thought I better put my suspicions out there.

You will see a lot of make-believe examples like this on this blog over the next few weeks. I want to show you just how the investigations of this alleged crisis have been characterised by a weird and notable lack of creativity.

I’m finding it very difficult to find a way to find a way to express clearly to people just why I think the way I do.

Because I reckon that both sides of this debate are seriously under-performing. Of course the alarmist side is dishonest and hysterical (Lovelock excepted paradoxically). But I reckon the subject as a whole is buggered.

Now maybe I’m being unfair here.

So if anyone thinks I’m being unfair you can explain things as clearly as possible.



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