Posted by: graemebird | March 30, 2009

Equal Opportunity Val Doonican For President.


LATE MAY 2009: I’ve brought this one to the front for a little while. Since I had it off air, because I cannibalised it for a thread I put on the Louisianna State University site. I just ran across it. I’m not entirely happy with all of my threads. But for the most part I leave them up even if I’ve changed my mind about one or two things. Since I think its good for the kids to see how someone else goes about grappling with unfamiliar subjects. Like for example when this blog started I was unfamiliar with many aspects of the climate science debate. And I just had to work through the material patiently and try and inject some realism back into a debate dominated by flat earth models. Now it would be easy to feel shame at some of my earlier threads where I had a lot of things wrong. But thats really missing the point I want to drive home to the kids. And the main point is that we must put our faith in methodology since in the end that is all we have. Not being leftists we lack the gift of leftist second sight and so must put our faith in method.

But thats not why I took this thread off air. I only took it off air since I wanted to rape it for a quick thread on the American ether. So now that I’ve stumbled across it again, I want to put it up the front for awhile. Just to make up for taking it off air.

I was thinking of the advantages of hauling Obama away in chains and having Tracy Chapman step in as interim President. Or more generally the advantages of Tracy Chapman over Barry Soetoro as President.

1. She really is black. Plus she’s a woman as well. So in your efforts to repress your vile racism and project it onto others you will have even more of an equal-opportunity positive-discrimination President to acheive this with.

2. No violent-looking young-male-automatons appear to be following and worshiping Tracy Champman, like a new Hitler youth movement worshipping Obama.

3. Rather than being an equal-opportunity Lenin, Beria or Adolf Hussein Hitler, she is more of an equal opportunity Val Doonican. Which is a better and more wholesome example for the kids (and the rest of us too.)

4. She is unlikely to be open to blackmail over her sexuality.

5. She may not be a committed marxist with foreign paymasters.

6. As a creative artist its pretty clear that she has been able to put herself in other peoples shoes. So there is a chance she may be persuaded to listen closely to small and medium-sized businessmen and women and the sort of economists who would stick up for them.

7. She’s actually worked for a living unlike Barry. And just as a bonus she was good at her job. And to top it all off she had authentic commercial success. Unlike Barry, who every year of his adult life has been a burden on the community.

8. She may be persuaded to cut spending rather than go hell for leather to destroy the United States dollar, economy and society.

9. She was unambiguously born in the United States. Cleveland I think. Usually a mid-Westerner emerges to save the United States at about the time it looks near to falling apart or being destroyed. And this time it could be Tracy Chapman.

10. Like Obama she has never won an election fair and square. Not exactly an advantage but no disadvantage either.

11. Moments ahead of the time when the nation is due to fall apart into warring tribes she could show up with her guitar, akin to some latter-day Val Doonican walking on stage, and sing everyone a soothing and heart-warming song, having just written pacifying lyrics that very afternoon especially for the purpose. And all around the world people would be wiping their eyes and the rifles would go back in the lock-box, or under the bed, for one more month.

12. However Tracy Chapman actually MANAGED, to get to be President, at least it wouldn’t be a conjob or a usurpation. At least it wouldn’t hopefully be with many conservatives and faux-libertarians embarrassing themselves with totally irrational support, and projection, and effectively being PIMPED (as one great spiritual adviser would have it.)

13. She may well be willing to show everyone her papers, including a birth certificate, just as a courtesy, to set up a tradition that draws a line between the Obama era and a better tommorrow.

14. She may be able to get some new blood at the top of the Democratic party so that the Republic might fly on two wings again. Instead of having all these hateful Clintonista re-treads at the top. All of them white and most of them lawyers. And most of them also with dreadful scandal and failure in their past.

15. There are plenty of incredibly talented American born, authentically black people in the US and Tracy might have the ability to persuade some of them to come to Washington to serve. “Will you come to Washington if I promise to sing for you and your wife”, she might say. And that may be enough to get one or two incredibly talented older black men to go where they are needed, (pretty desperately I would have thought.)

Anyway here is Val Doonican.

And here is the Equal Opportunity Updated Version.


Isn’t she wonderful. Isn’t she gorgeous. I’m lost.



  1. “At least we finally know who Graeme’s paymaster is.

    2009 will remembered for the “Chapman Plot”.”


    Actually I was hoping for Val. It might be that Val was born a British subject like Obama. I’d have to review his birthplace and the history of the Republic Of Ireland.

    So whats good for Obama is good for Val. I was hoping that Tracy would be a stalking horse for Val. To get the brothers (and sisters) used to the idea of the man and his guitar. Just the man and his axe.

    Then once they are desensitized to the idea, Val comes shimmying in, doing the Limbo under everyones objections. And me the Svengali, doing that low-trucking, with the snapping of fingers, some ways behind.

    No-one would ever suspect Val Doonican. And everyone would feel guilty and ageist if they questioned his abilities or his backing. Thats what makes the plot full-proof.

  2. May I say what a pleasure it has been to find an excuse, no matter how feeble, to bring to my readers attention such absolute quality BBC television, sadly almost completely lost to posterity.

    Not only is the Val Doonican show lost in terms of not being on tape. But it would no doubt be lost on this far more wicked and doomed world. This world where they just do not make shows like the Val Doonican show any more.

    It is for this and many other reasons why I urge you to make Val Doonican your President. Or failing that part of a Kitchen Cabinet with Tracy Chapman as President, with all the best people, not excluding Walter Williams, Angelo Codevilla, Myself, Sarah Palin, Alan Keyes, George Reisman (that goes without saying), Booker T Washingtons great grandaughter. Larry Elder, Roy Innis and of course the great Tom Sowell. And also if we could persuade Hans Hermmann Hoppe to hang out.

    Because after all this is not just some list of black people. But rather a balanced team of people who I would like to take notes from and perhaps drink beer with if I was able to armtwist them to the cause.

    Plenty of white people in the above list. What we are after is quality. And thats not what we have been getting lately.

  3. well you must be older than I thought.

  4. I think because of the depressing and maudlin nature of a lot of her songs people like me never appreciated what a sweetheart Tracy was.

    But I always did recognise her act was QUALITY even if it wasn’t so much for me.

    And thats what people need to understand when they go out to vote. You might not like Alan Keyes as a person. You might not share his absolutely staunch Christianity. And he probably could not be persuaded to take a drink with a fellow like me. But there is no doubt that he’s been the quality Presidential candidate for a very long time. Only Buchanan and Ron Paul as possible competitors.

    There is really no doubt about that.

    And this is what you get if you fail to go for QUALITY in serious matters because of personal predjudice.

    You get the end of your fucking world is what you get. You get this marxist Cook Country Wrecker is what you get.

    And you will get a situation where you may not be able to protect and defend the people who are most dear to you.

  5. “Apparently Fitzgibbon’s secret Christmas Day trip to China was to attend an event commemorating psychopath Mao Zedong’s birthday. Imagine if a Liberal attended an event to celebrate Hitler’s birthday. And the Nazi leader wasn’t in Mao’s league when it comes to killing people. Also at that link, number of times Australian Prime Minister and special Chinese envoy, Kevin Rudd, mentioned his own country on the Jim Lehrer Newshour: 5. Number of times he mentioned China: 17.”

    I like Fitzgibbon. But if he is rolled I’ll never have to dislike him. That would be better. We don’t need to demonise him if we can knock him off the front bench for at least 10 years as a matter of course. And get him to spill all even if his exhaustive confessions are not public for five years lets say.

    That was the problem with Clinton. I knew I ought to hate him. But he had these jedi-knight like powers, or he was like Simon-The-likable from Maxwell smart. So I didn’t feel good hating him and when I saw him live it would all wash away. But he ought to have been properly punished. So I wouldn’t feel the need to be angry at him.

    Of course now he has been properly punished by the Doctors whose negligence has given him mild brain dysfunction before his time but thats another story.

    But look I like Fitzgibbon. He was not so much a better person than the last one but he was a better defense minister. But he simply has to be rolled as a matter of course. So that we may feel sympathy for him being rolled.

    “But more importantly this is business and sometimes you have to hardline-it.”

    That line spoken to me personally by someone who really knew how to bring the hammer down. If you don’t know who you are you had a red beard at the time.

  6. “Tracy Chapman indeed.

    Surely Graeme knows she’s just a poor man’s Joan Armatrading.”

    FDB you stupid sodomite.

    I used to really DIG!!!!!!! Joan Armatrading. Thats the point. Joan was more upbeat than Tracy. So I could appreciate Joan AT THEM TIME whereas Chapman slipped past my appreciation.

    Plus Joan was a robust women who looked like she could take a bit of punishment.

    She used to have this song called “THINKING MAN” and I used to try and throw that phrase in all the time like everyone present was an insider and I didn’t give a Kenyan interlopers curse that they weren’t.

    So I would respond to some pretty smart solution in the job-productivity or women-hunting scenario with “AHA…. THINKING!!!!!! MAN” and I’d cast a knowing look. But no bugger would realise I had Joan in mind.

    You must understand I was a competitive swimmer from the age of 7. Won three under races out of four in Northland that year and won them all again two more years running in the same age-group.

    So I was brought up with robust looking sheilas with membrane-thin costumes on, and big shoulders. And Joan Armatrading was a real sheila to me. Thats what a real women looked like to me.

    I mean I didn’t like her songs THAT much but they were so catchy that somehow I seemed, at the time, to have them all memorised.

    What are you saying you dirty sodomite?

    That there is only room for ONE female Val Doonican black word-wizard at any one time?

    And you criticise me with reference to the one that I identified with more at the time?

    Where is she? Is she still buxom with big shoulders? Can you direct her to my place when my wife is not home?

    Hang your head in shame FDB.

    And sorry Tracy. I did not mean to play favourites.



  8. Philomena. You will like this song.

    I’m real real gone.

  9. graemebird says:
    June 16, 2010 at 5:08 am

    Why do you want them to die?

    I don’t them to die?

    Why do you want them to die?

    They are not a burden to you or this planet.

    They have never stolen money off me.

    They are not the burden YOU ARE THE BURDEN. And they have never been the burden YOU have always been the burden.

    So stop trying to murder these kids. Because I don’t consider them a burden. I consider YOU a burden. Just leave them alone….. PLEASE …. I’ll get down on my knees and plead with you not to murder the black kids no more.

    I would want you people to stop being such parasites off people like me.

    But if you give me the choice, I’ll settle for you not murdering the black kids.

    graemebird says:
    June 16, 2010 at 4:59 am
    You want the black kids dead there is no doubt about this.

    You want the black kids dead.


    Its as simple as that.

    graemebird says:
    June 16, 2010 at 4:57 am
    “Graeme, no one has said anything about bed nets only.”

    You are lying Ed. And anyone can currently scroll down to see that this is indeed the basis of all your eugenicist arguments.

    From the start I advocated multiple layers of defense. From the start you advocated blatant population control through malaria.

    Nothing could be more certain.

    Outside you pitiful circle the rest of us see through you.

    graemebird says:
    June 16, 2010 at 4:52 am
    Chris you are lying. Thats exactly what the policy is. And they want black kids dead. This is manifest.

    Dale you are a fake. Does you religious handicap stop you from admitting your anti-patriotic bias?

  10. Van Morrison is the Man. My young nieces love him too but complain when we play him out loud and faint too much.

    I noticed some comments on youtube by 20-somethings (presumably) that they were surprised to learn Tracy Chapman’s a woman. Which is sad for those who commented thus for several reasons not least cos she’s such an unmistakably feminine singer-artist.

    Comparisons and even preferences can be odious and jejune but I really love this one of hers.


    So you play van-the-man and swoon and fall over?


    I’d want to be there to take advantage of the situation for my own sinister gratification.

  12. Steady on Mr B.

    What else is a mere poor mortal woman with a beating heart to do in the face of this:

    “Lay me down
    In silence easy
    To be born again”

    • Really I wouldn’t want to do these bad things. I’d just feel that I cannot stand up by myself. I’d just need a little help.

      You’d have to quit with the swooning and help me stand up.

      Being as you are a friend of mine.

  13. Got a home on high…

  14. There is nothing bad about your intentions or inclinations here.

    That is the whole point of this most beautiful, genuinely libertarian of songs.

  15. Think of the modern pre-nuptial agreement. Think of how if we got sick of living this way, by and for the lawyers?

    Do you feel like I feel?

    Can we make it that thats,


    Throwback into the primitive and the more honorable:

  16. People make fun of rocking-Rod Stewart. But he has done very good covers of Van Morrison, Tom Waits and others and he can actually write songs himself when he isn’t merely enjoying the high life. Plus he was good at soccer.

    Here is one of his versions of the above excellent song:

  17. Genius songwriter sadly lost to the prophet:

  18. Rockin-Rod version.

  19. How can he be lost when he is as modern and prescient as this:

  20. Yeah I don’t think he cares about the Lorax and Sam-I-Am any more.

    But this here song tugged my nostalgia strings but I hadn’t even left school.

  21. Its never to late to learn about love. But is it to late to learn about music? Its many years since the above hit was produced. But how often do we get such musical excellence in under three minutes in the modern era?

    Its a knock-out in my view. I can never seem to get sick of it. If I did I’d be ready to roll again by next Wednesday.

  22. My parents listened to music that their parents loved and that I too grew up with and loved as a child.

    Singers like this.

  23. Good Lord that was good. And funny. On one level its a series of excuses for shamefully affectionate behavior towards women.

    On top of that one of the excuses is that he cannot help himself because he’s “gay”.

    Of course it didn’t mean the same thing back then.

  24. “Of course it didn’t mean the same thing back then.”

    No it didn’t. Funny how it leaps out now isn’t it.

    This is another favourite from Tauber’s repertoire. Beautiful tender emotional masculine timbre and voice.

  25. Here is the explanation why lunatics like Key, Turnbull, Reynolds, Cambria, Geithner, Paulson et al have to be marginalised and not let near power.

    Our survival depends on us bringing the banks to heel. We have to stop these growing attempts of them putting all their people in positions of political power.

    We now have a global central bank and banking traitors running all aspects of policy. The global monetary authority is called the FINANCIAL STABILITY BOARD. Its a unit in the bank for international settlements in Basil, Switzerland. The fellow who runs the FSB is from ……. guess ……… Goldman Sachs. The global currency that is being rolled out is the Special Drawing Rights. This is really a currency in disguise.

    SDR’s have been around for awhile gestating away. They were created forty years ago by the CIA. Already there we see, the alliance of bankers and spooks. An alliance now so out of hand that huge operations like 9/11 were made possible.

    The special drawing right has now been groomed to be a full-blown international currency. At one time they seemed to want the carbon credits to do this job.

    The name of the boss of the Financial Stability Board is Mario Draghi. He left Goldman Sachs about the same time as Paulson to take over the Bank of Italy. So Paulson was in America screwing things up for the Americans while “Druggie” was screwing things up for the Italians and the world.

    If 2000-2010 has been a time of growing hegemony of bankers and shadow government spooks, consider the track record of this new overlordship. It has brought us nothing but harm. Endless wars. The resurgence of Keynesianism in more virulent form then ever before. The 9/11 false flag operation. Whole countries spending themselves into bankruptcy. Massive stealing from the public to give to the banks. Relentless misallocation of investment resources. Everyone in the world being treated like Soviet peasants: Being constantly propagandized to vis a vis the global warming fraud. Torture has been brought back to a major Western nation. The subcontracting of torture to enemy nations has been brought to us for the very first time, and some people call the situation beautiful. One of our own Australian lads has been subjected to this insanity.

    There has to be a global war on financial terrorism with these lunatics branded terrorist. We need to strip wealthy bankers of their assets. We need to strip the politically-aligned multi-billionaire family concerns. Let them be millionaires. But if they are involved with Bilderberg or other politically motivated outfits freeze most of their assets. At least identify these people, brand them as people of bad character, and don’t let them operate within this country.

    You know what these evil sons of bitches are doing now? They are re-routing 90% of the drugs from Afghanistan into Russia.

    You cannot have spooks and bankers running things. Its the spook/ banker alliance, who have screwed everything up and they shift the blame to “neocons” who were people totally mobbed by the new unreason. Bankers are morons. Spooks are morons. Its like we have been lorded over by malevolent Maxwell Smart types. An alliance between Maxwell Smart and Abbadabba Berman. High-tech fuckwits and bumblers who can cover their tracks with money and murder. Its this overlordship that has seen the total monopolization and rigging of scientific data. Its this overlordship that has accelerated the corruption of scientific endeavor.

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