Posted by: graemebird | April 9, 2010

What The Winchestor Quartermain Phenomenon Tells Us About The Art And Science Of Literary Character Development.

Forget it its not going to happen. But I had this daydream about me and Philomena jointly writing a poem, or at least some pretty exciting doggerel, in installment. You know. Do the Charles Dickens thing. I’m woefully under-educated in poetry. Doggerel TOO for that matter. But in any case I started mucking about and used it as an excuse to email Philomena and we came up with a few rhymes, with a bit of rhythm to them, and while she is at work I thought I’d post this initial bit of doggerel on the basis that there is some suspense involved.

There is suspense involved in the story that the doggerel alludes to. But there is also the suspense in the sense that you may never get to read the second installment. Because I am not going to write this “poem” on my own. I’m not even going to put more than 40% of the effort into it. I’m looking at 20% max.

So if you want to find out what comes next you have to sweet-talk Philomena into stepping down to the mid-level and putting in, most of the hard yards, that are needed to write this thing. If you paid me $2000 a week to do this sort of thing I CAN do-it (after a fashion and with no pretensions to quality control) but its hard Yakka. I’d rather be digging coal with a pick-axe and shovel. I’d rather be selling Obama health care lies on the Amish.

Anyway here is the first installment. Philomena is at work now. This is my way of shaming her into taking up the challenge of doing almost all the work necessary to create a second installment:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Tell him I decline the invitation.

The Dirty Digger
9 Apr 10 at 12:21 pm

Well there you are. If the dirty digger is Philomena, not only will she not write the second installment, but the first one is off air on the grounds of “what is the point.?”

I kind of like our first installment. I don’t consider it real poetry. Its not trying to be something that it isn’t.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
THE WINCHESTER QUARTERMAIN PHENOMENON

MORE MUCH LATER.

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Responses

  1. Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Don’t trust the bank
    It’s run by a Jew

  2. Don’t trust the bank,
    Its run by a stupid wop cunt.
    Still,

    What can you do?

  3. There exists a kind of curse,
    When placed upon a man.
    Will turn that man into a beast-
    On Snowy Mount’ the beast he ran.

    The moon rose full,
    The beast did know,
    The humans will be victims;
    Their flesh so sweet,
    To feed upon,
    (Though in his heart he knew it wrong)
    “I have to slay a virgin too,
    Tonight sheeps blood just will not do”,

    “Tell us Lord of fallen ghosts,
    What kind of man becomes the host?”

    “The deed is done, the MORALIST,
    Does know-it, to be vile,
    He alters all his workings-out,
    Without an outright lie,
    So multiplies the wickedness,
    When learning how to justify.”

    Boiling blood from hell itself,
    Did force the beast to go,
    To leap and race and bound along,
    Outrun the melting snow,

    If ever beast defy the moon,
    Slow up or turn around,
    The pain would rise, not gradually,
    “The torture, Oh the pain,
    Its raining hard upon bare nerves,
    Its acid ‘stead of rain.”

  4. Graeme, I am not “The Dirty Digger”. No idea who that is either.

  5. Alright. So you have not turned me down YET?

  6. I would never turn you down, babe,

    Later… must work

  7. Right. Maybe I was right to put it up in the first place.

    Everyone check this one out and tell me what a dummy I’ve been. I’ve likely heard 5 different versions of this song, probable at least 1-10 times each.

    Only recently did I figure it out that the kid had it all wrong. And that everyone was absolutely shit-scared of the bear.

  8. Another version.

  9. The Marxist usurper dances a victory jig
    And our allies are in disarray
    Who shall rid us of this nefarious nig
    And lead us to a brighter day?

    The Celestials have a spy in Australia
    And his name is Kevin Rudd
    Western civilisation looks to be a failure
    Who can nip the Nips in the bud?

    Only one man whose fuel is beer
    And who recites Mises by heart
    For whom the works of Rothbard are dear
    And for whose weight the waters will part

    Graeme Montgomery Bird is the word
    The leader to rally the West
    To lift us up from the herd
    And bring out our very best

    He even looks like Churchill
    But he would never appease a Stalin
    After he’s eaten his fill
    The Marxists he’ll relegate to the dustbin

  10. Fuck thats wonderful. But I cannot endorse it. As you know I would never call anyone with so much as olive skin or yet even a tan a “House-Nigger”

    Bad-Baby-Bama is a pimp.

    And he’s a white pimp at that.
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    Former McLaren associate and another authentic talent with this astonishing number. Hard to un-hear it once its been heard. Impossible to un-see, once seen.

    Sing along to it ONE TIME.’

    You never gonna get it out of your head.

  11. Make no mistake about it. Its the characters as depicted on that video above that this blog is working for. Pro-capitalist blog that this is. It is these people that will be in a better world if my policy goals would be implemented.

    Sure even the old guys would have part-time work. But with that supplementary income they will never look towards the future with fear. And the young fellow would get full-time or near full-time work straight away, juicer, needleman, or whatever.

    By and by he would probably see the advantages in having his own business. And he would have that too.

  12. The debasement of the currency
    Had led to rampant homosexuality
    The decline of music, the decline of art,
    Sexual perversions in public parks.

    Inflation is the root of all evil
    Fractional reserve the devil spawn
    All those deaths from social upheaval
    The only ones to prosper to manor born

    While Italian bankers gargle champagne
    An African baby cries out in pain
    While Cambria lights a cigar with a 100 dollar note
    An old man perishes for want of a coat

    YOU KNOW THE CHINESE COMMUNISTS BANNED THAT JOHN LYDON SONG? I THINK THEY BANNED ALL HIS STUFF. LET THE SEX PISTOLS THROUGH BUT BANNED THE ABOVE SONG. I THINK WE OUGHT TO BE IMMENSELY PROUD OF HIM. HERE IS CAMBRIA LAUGHING AT THE DAMAGE HE HAS CAUSED.

  13. You could be talking about any town in the USA right now.

    Thanks Obama. You have done the world proud.

  14. This is a good poetry exercise. It sets out rules. It’s fun. It’s the cinquain: a 5-line poem with this structure:

    1st line – 1 word – noun
    2nd line – 2 words – describe the noun
    3rd line – 3 words – actions
    4th line – 4 words – feelings
    5th line – 1 word – noun – another word for first word

    e.g.

    Clitoris

    Feel-good tissue
    Singing your praise
    Pianissimo fortissimo crescendo refrain

    Conductor

  15. Do you like metal Graeme?

    YEAH BUT NOT THIS TRASH YOU ARE POSTING. WHARVES. NUCLEAR POWER. SHIP-BUILDING. YOU KNOW THE REAL HEAVY METAL.

    THIS IS NOT SO BAD:

  16. I like the heavy stuff but it cannot be this joyless unmusical cacophony of crud that you go in for electric.

    Try this out for size. See if you kids still appreciate that rock and roll.

  17. Winchester. You wouldn’t want to pass on my disgust at Sinclair letting the riff-raff swarm CL would you. Its pretty disgraceful stuff. Here is this intellectual and Sinclair is letting that jerk Tillman get in his face the whole time. What gives?

  18. ODE FROM A CARBON WHORE?

    When I was young and flighty
    I rarely wore me nightie, but..
    now I’m old and failing
    My bank balance is also ailing!

    So – me thought and with thinking
    Invented a ship that was sinking!
    HMS CO2 is warming – effing shocking!
    Rescuers never saw it and me docking?

    They traded in their carbon credits,
    Giving trillions to the masses debits
    ‘Somethings wrong?’ cried some smart sage,
    “It’s snowing – commeth another effing ice age?”

    So – “We made a little error,” I replied
    “Be grateful now -you could have all died,”
    “As temps plummet – just close your doors
    Cos – I’m off to warmer climes with Al Gore!”

    And so be it! If we don’t wake up to IPCC and
    the likes of Senator Wong!

  19. If you get on to this brilliant site

    http://green-agenda.com/index.html

    If you convert AGW into another glacial period the solutions to combat another glacial period will be the same. In my opinion.

    But they don’t want to admit it, eh?

  20. Yeah. So proving them wrong is insufficient. We have to send them into the private economy. Fundamentally this is a taxeaters crusade. Leaving them to cause more trouble after the cold snap hit is putting us in jeopardy.


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